Sunday, March 22, 2009

My Family's Hope

Right now I should be writing my paper... but this is something I've been wanting to write about for awhile but never have time too. So here it goes

So for those who have followed my blogs in the past know that the relationship between my mom and I isn't so great. Can you even call what we have a relationship?! A dysfunctional one, maybe.

Anyways, about a week ago, my mom said something I NEVER expected her to say to me. "You are the hope in this family". Ok first off, WOW! and Secondly, WTF?!?!?!? lol I mean, don't get me wrong, I'm flattered. But seriously?!?!?!? After years of putting me down, criticizing me, calling me a disappointment and a failure, etc. she comes up to me and says this out of nowhere?! haha I just don't get it at all. At first I laughed it off and thought she was joking. But she went on to say "when you graduate and get a job, I need you to help me put the kids to college", which is something I always thought of doing anyways actually, without her even having to tell or ask me. I'm not even the eldest child and feel like this should be my brothers job (but lets face it, those who know my brother know he would never do this for us).

I guess my point is, she always gave me this feeling where I thought she didn't think much of me. That she thought I was the irresponsible child out of all her kids and that I wasn't dependable or reliable, no matter how much I've shown how mature and responsible I am. So to hear her actually say that I'm our family's hope made me feel like for once, she believes in me. BUT (and there's always a but) knowing my mother, things might change later. Who knows. Lets just see how long this feeling will last....

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